I remember leaving Africa and a long bunch of plane rides to San Jose,Costa Rica. I remember our day and a half layover in Madrid, Spain and absolutely loving it there. I remember wishing we could stay longer.

I remember the excitement of finally getting to Central America, the place I have been most excited to go all year. I remember using my broken Spanish for the first time, and getting excited about successfully navigating my way through the city.

I remember my heart breaking a second time, when my teammate Mark told us he would be going home. I remember wishing he could stay, but knowing in my heart that he was doing the right thing, and feeling proud of him. I remember saying goodbye and wishing we had more time.

I remember seeing Sarah again for the first time in over three months. I remember our first one on one at the coffee shop in San Jose, and thinking to myself how much I missed her and how happy I was to have her back. I remember praising God for the ways he has restored and strengthened our relationship.

I remember the beach in Panama. I remember God's beautiful creation as I went running one morning, thinking to myself how blessed I was to be there. I remember seeing Colleen and Team Less by complete surprise, and thanking God for little reminders of his love.

I remember sitting at the kitchen table trying to work through our issues as a team. I remember praying and fighting the thought that this would never be resolved, that our team would remain broken. I remember feeling helpless.

I remember the long bus ride to Nicaragua. I remember 2 days spent on Tica bus, hoping that the next movie would be in English or at least have subtitles. I remember crossing the Nicaragua border, and realizing that the next border I crossed would be the United States.

I remember the first night we were in Granada. I remember being so excited for ministry and all that we would do, and I remember my heart sinking when Brandon told us that something was wrong at home, and Sarah needed to call her family. I remember praying that there was some kind of mistake and Sarah wouldn't have to leave. 

I remember saying goodbye to Sarah for the second time. I remember feeling an odd sense of peace and joy that Sarah was doing what she knew God wanted her to do. I remember the word of encouragement she gave us before leaving, and her smile as she walked through security.

I remember the first 2 weeks we spent in Granada. I remember loving every second of the medical clinic, and wishing I had more medical knowledge to be able to help. I remember wishing I knew more Spanish to understand people better. I remember Pam trying to encourage me to be a nurse.

I remember waking up at 515am on June 15^th, Brandon's birthday. I remember a popping balloon, Brandon steamrolling over each of us, pushing us off our mattresses, running and dancing around the room, and an all-too-early in the morning pillow fight. I remember all of us girls laughing histerically as Brandon began his birthday fun.

I remember our first day of construction in Puerto Cabezas. I remember an over-stuffed school bus speeding through the dirt road, and feeling relief that we had decided to fly instead of travel by bus.

 I remember fighting the feeling of giving up. I remember counting down the days till we returned to Granada for debrief, and eventually back home. I remember wishing the days would come faster. I remember being ready to go home.

 

I remember almost leaving the race after my first week in Swaziland. I remember having an emotional breakdown and telling Pam and Brandon that I just didn't want to be there anymore, and struggling the next few days over whether or not to go home. I remember God being my strength when I didn't have any left.

I remember feeling like I was being hit with a brick wall when Sarah told us that she was going home. I remember my eyes filling with tears in mere seconds, doing all that I could to hold them in. I remember saying goodbye to her and telling myself that this was not goodbye, and that she would come back to our team soon.

I remember living in Backdoor Community in Nelspruit, South Africa. I remember running in the neighborhood and having kids laugh and run alongside us. I remember Vivianne, a rather animated and boisterous woman inviting us into her preschool and singing songs for us with the children.

I remember our four day road trip to Mutarara Mozambique. I remember dirt road detours, camping on the beach, rats in the kitchen, and a long walk at night time on a seven kilometer bridge. I remember tons of children holding their faces up to our tents, watching us fall asleep and wake up in the morning.

I remember walking a lot in Mozambique. And riding bikes. I remember daily trips to the local bar for an ice cold orange fanta. I remember little Bea, and the time we walked to the market together to buy our bread for the day. I remember smiling and thinking how much I love this kid.

I remember not wanting to leave Mozambique. I remember my heart not being ready to let go This place and the people there will always have a special piece of my heart. I will always remember Mutarara.

 

1. Favorite Food: Thirty-cent banana smoothies in Bangkok. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  
2. Favorite Ministry Moment: Our trip to the pineapple farm with all the university students. 
3. Favorite Fun thing: We took a road trip to Kanatchaburi where Team Less was staying. It was the first time I saw Colleen in two weeks and we went on a long walk and talked about everything. It was great to see her and the rest of their team and have a Sheep Roast!     
4. Person I'll Never Forget: the students
   
5. Hardest Part: The language barrier

Banan, Cambodia:

1. Favorite Food: Banana Chips. I lived off of these. No, literally, I did.  
2. Favorite Part of Ministry: Playing with the younger kids, especially Joseph.
3. Favorite Fun thing: Climbing the nearby mountain every chance that we had!
4. Person I'll Never Forget: Joseph.
5. Hardest Part: Waking up with a bucket-full of bugs in my mosquito net every morning and falling asleep with them falling on my face.

Dumaguete, Philippines:

1. Favorite Food: We pretty much ate American food. Too much of it. The pizza on the island at Christmas was pretty great.
2. Favorite Part of Ministry: Holding babies at the orphanage. 
3. Favorite Fun thing: Renting a moto with Colleen on the island. Seriously… I'm sure you can imagine how hilarious and exciting that would be!  
4. Person I'll Never Forget: Not in Dumaguete, but Aya Papaya and Diana from Manila
5. Hardest Part: Having to leave Manila, where we were supposed to be staying for the month, where I absolutely fell in love with all of the kids.    
   
   
   
     
   

China:

1. Favorite Food: Ramen noodles. It's crazy how good these taste when it's freezing cold.
2. Favorite Part of Ministry: Working with our contacts in general. Partnering with them was truly a blessing.
3. Favorite Fun thing: Hiking the Great Wall of China in the freezing cold while it was snowing… amazing!
4. Person I'll Never Forget: Cherry Tan and her family. They are actually from the Philippines but we met them in China and I still keep in contact with her and their daughter through email.
5. Hardest Part: Having our team split up at the last minute and not seeing each other very often throughout the week.
   
   
   
   
   
   

Manzini, Swaziland:

1. Favorite Food: Turkey deli sandwich from the grocery store. Wheat bread, lunch meat, and cheese… so good!
2. Favorite Part of Ministry: We didn't stay in Manzini that long, but one day I went to a Slum area with Brandon and Traci. The kids were adorable.  
3. Favorite Fun thing: Fun in Manzini? Uhh, probably the road trip to Nelspruit, ZA with Mark and the Black family. 
4. Person I'll Never Forget: Happiness. I didn't get to know her that well, but I just always think of her smiling face when I think of Swaziland.  
5. Hardest Part: The initial week of teaching. Just take my word for it! 
   
   
   

Nelspruit, South Africa:

1. Favorite Food: Grilled cheese and tomato sandwiches. 
2. Favorite Part of Ministry: Visiting the children in the hospital. Very heartbreaking, but also something I loved doing.
3. Favorite Fun thing: The Valentines Day, Half-Way, Pam is still alive Extravaganza! (Read the blog if you haven't yet)
4. Person I'll Never Forget: Linda. The most wonderful, hospitable, giving, friendly, caring person ever!  
5. Hardest Part: Preparing to leave for Mozambique, getting really excited, but having it keep getting pushed back.
   
   
   

Mutarara, Mozambique:

1. Favorite Food: Oh gosh. Our daily orange fanta if that counts as food.   
2. Favorite Part of Ministry: One day I walked into town and I brought Bea with me. I held her hand the whole time and it took twice as long to walk there because of her little legs. But it was worth it. I bought her a frozen juice thing and a sweet roll that cost less than a quarter. It was special to be with only one of the kids and not the whole pack of them.
3. Favorite Fun thing: Driving around Mozambique in general, including our 4-day roadtrip there and back, and driving to the ATM with Mark and Cameron (a 6hr journey), where Mark taught me how to drive stick shift! 
4. Person I'll Never Forget: Bea… I still think about her often and miss her so much.
5. Hardest Part: Probably the living conditions. Living in a tent in million degree weather with dirt everywhere, no showers, cooking on a camping stove, bringing all our water across a 7km bridge, and absolutely NO privacy.
   
   
   
   

Cape Town, South Africa:

1. Favorite Food: Chicken salads.  
2. Favorite Part of Ministry: Spending more time with God and having time to rest and reflect on the past six months.
3. Favorite Fun thing: Watching the sunsets every night from the porch. Gorgeous!
4. Person I'll Never Forget: Obviously Tom and Cindy!
5. Hardest Part: Not doing the type of ministry I am used to doing.
   
   
   
   

San Jose, Costa Rica:

1. Favorite Food: Empanadas from Jumbo.   
2. Favorite Part of Ministry: One day I spent time in Bambu (the South), doing construction for a local church.
3. Favorite Fun thing: Getting back from scouting out Panama and seeing my team for the first time in almost two weeks. I missed them like crazy! And going to coffee with Sarah Lapp, my teammate who returned from being home for 3 months!
4. Person I'll Never Forget: The YWAM staff there was super friendly and super helpful. My favorite YWAMers yet!
5. Hardest Part: Not having any established ministries we could plug into, as well as being with the squad for the WHOLE month.
   
   
   

Panama City, Panama:

1. Favorite Food: Platanos 
2. Favorite Part of Ministry: Prayerwalking. It was a stretching experience but good.
3. Favorite Fun thing: Going to the beach/running on the beach
4. Person I'll Never Forget: John Mark... that guy cracked me up
5. Hardest Part: Same as my favorite. Prayerwalking. Not doing.
   
   
   

 
Granada, Nicaragua:

1. Favorite Food: Gallo Pinto from Querubes. Cheapest and the best tasting.   
2. Favorite Part of Ministry: The medical clinic. Everything about it, especially helping to translate. 
3. Favorite Fun thing: My birthday "weekend" at Ometepe Island. Kayaking and off roading… so fun!
4. Person I'll Never Forget: Mamasita from Hospedaje Esphinge.  
5. Hardest Part: Long, tiring days.  
   
   
   

Puerto Cabezas, Nicaragua:

1. Favorite Food:  Anything green that they served (quite rare)
2. Favorite Part of Ministry: Working construction with Alonzo.
3. Favorite Fun thing: Team movie night with cookie dough and popcorn
4. Person I'll Never Forget: Alonzo

5.      Hardest Part: Stomach problems and three-day downpours, I'm not sure which was worse.

Wow...what a year!

 

I LOVE you Seven:Eleven and the whole September Squad!!

I walked out of the hospital tonight and walked to the car. It might have been the first time I've paused to process anything since I came home last Saturday. For the first time since I've been in American, I suddenly wondered what everyone was doing back in Nicaragua. I checked my phone: Tuesday the 22^nd.  I checked the time 830pm. So what would everyone be doing at 730pm on a Tuesday night in Nicaragua? What would I be doing if I were still there? Then I remembered. I realized that as I was leaving the hospital, the rest of my squad was dressed up and out to the end-of-the year banquet for the race.

It got me to thinking more about all the changes I've undergone in the last few days. What does life look now compared to one week ago? One week ago I was living at a hostel in Granada with my team. I ate a lot of rice and beans, spoke Spanish, walked everywhere, and used the internet to contact people. And now? I use the car to get around. Everybody speaks my native language. I've eaten vegetables, chicken wraps, English muffins, and salad. And when I need to contact someone, I use my cell phone. Or I access the internet through the cell phone. I take hot showers in the morning, drink coffee throughout the day, and wash clothes when they get dirty. I'm sitting on a couch typing this blog with the television on in the background. And when I finish, I will go into the other room and climb into the huge comfy king-sized bed that I get all to myself.

There are no more lizards on the wall (See previous blog). In the matter of a few days, my life has been completely transformed. The way I live is different, what I'm doing is different, and my plans have changed almost entirely. I never thought I would reunite with my family after seven months at a hospital in Chicago….but I did. I didn't think I would spend my first week home from the race in a hospital room… but here I am. Life seems to change quicker than we are prepared for sometimes. I wasn't ready for any of this, yet here I am, dealing with it as it comes, relying on the Lord to guide me each step of the way.  

 My grandma is still sick in the hospital. The pneumonia hasn't gotten any better but it hasn't gotten worse either. They have moved her from the ICU to another wing because she is more stable. She is still on a ventilator and in general, pretty uncomfortable. She can't talk to us obviously, because of the ventilator, so she is only able to mouth things to us, and we're left with trying to figure it out. Some days are worse than others, but overall, I know she is happy to have me there. And I am happy to be there.

I miss everyone on the squad like crazy. When I actually have a few free minutes, to stop and think about anything, they are often on my mind. I wish that I could be there tonight with you all, but it is a blessing to know that I have all your support and prayers during this time. I have complete peace that this is where the Lord wants me for this season, and in that, I know He will guide me as I go. I rest in the knowledge that God is using me for his glory right in the middle of that hospital. I don't need to be prepared. I don't need to know everything. I just need to trust. So despite my hectic schedule, my tired body, and my boggled mind, I feel mostly calm.

I am ready, despite the fact that I myself am not really ready for anything. I am ready because I know it is not me that has to do anything. I am empty of me and ready to be filled with Him.

Continue to pray for my Grandma. Pray for no pain. Pray for healing. Pray for discernment for my family with her. Pray for clear communication between me and her when I am in the hospital with her. Pray that our time would be joyful. Pray that she would know Jesus more and more every day. Pray that she would feel loved.

Early this morning, before my feet had a chance to hit American soil, I had my first glimpse back into American culture. Midway through my first flight, I got up to use the bathroom. Since I was seated in the 5^th row, the first row behind first class—and since I saw someone else from coach return from the front bathrooms—I decided I would also use the bathrooms in the front of the plane, rather than walk the long aisle backwards to the other bathrooms. As I began walking forward, a man said, excuse me, and slipped past me headed towards the bathroom. When he reached the door, he turned to the flight attendant and asked, this bathroom is for first class, right? I turned and looked at the mostly empty four rows of plus leather seats. Then I looked towards the rear of the plane and noted the two bathrooms reserved for the other one-hundred and fifty passengers, with a line of people waiting.

 With thoughts of disgust and irritation, I decided I would still wait for the first class bathroom, and stood there thinking of what I would like to say to the guy. Moments later, the flight attendant informed me that the line in the back of the plane had cleared up, and I could go and use that bathroom. The coach bathroom. The one reserved for us little people. And so I turned around and marched my way through a tiny aisle and twenty-nine rows, counting them angrily as I went.

The rest of the flight, I couldn’t stop thinking about this situation. I know this guy paid more for his ticket than I did. I know he bought that huge comfy leather seat—and apparently the right to his own private bathroom—but I still can’t seem to get past the idea of it all. I’ve visited the poorest pastors who eat coconuts for every meal because they can’t afford rice, and yet they are more generous than those people who have plenty to give. If there is one thing the people we have worked with this year have in common, it’s generosity. Whether giving us their house to live in, their food to eat, rides into town, or other various acts of service, we have often been on the receiving end of sincere acts of generosity, often in expense to themselves. So to see this man get so worked up about a non-first class person using their bathroom, quite honestly, pisses me off.

And then, unfortunately, I got to thinking. I started thinking about a conversation I had with Brandon yesterday morning, coming to the realization of how easy it will be to judge other people as a result of this year. I want to hold everyone to higher standards. I don’t want to be around materialism, selfishness, pride, greed, etc. I want people to look at me and see a person, not judge me by my status, the clothes I’m wearing, or the job I’m working, and then base their generosity accordingly.   

I honestly believe these are valid desires. (And here comes the but). But… I also need to be careful about the effects of these desires. Because ironically enough, as I realized this morning, my frustrations easily turn into judgments, and then I turn into the person I judged in the first place. This morning, as I quickly became frustrated with First Class guy, that frustration turned into judgment, which resulted in pride on my part, thinking of myself as better than he.

But in all honesty, I’m the same as this guy. I often think I have rights; that I deserve something for merely being me, I struggle with selfishness, materialism, greed, pride, and all the other characteristics that I so easily judge in others. But I’m a work in progress, and I need just as much grace as the next person (including Mr. First Class). Spending a year doing overseas missions doesn’t mean I’m a completed project. I will continue to learn these lessons (probably more times than I would like) over and over again. 

I’m not going to lie, it’s going to be a struggle to not have high expectations for people and to not judge them according to my past year. I am truly going to have to humble myself and constantly remember that I am the same as every person I come into contact with. I am only saved by the blood of Christ and the grace of God, the same grace that saves everyone else.

And in the meantime, I’ll just stay away from first class. J

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility

consider others better than yourselves.

Philippians 2:3

Growing up my favorite thing to do was to visit Grandma. She lived less than an hour away, so my mom would often bring my sister and me up for weekend trips. Being at Grandma’s was like a vacation. Grandma loved to spoil us. And I distinctly remember what she always said afterwards: don’t tell your mother!

We always started our weekend with a trip to the grocery store, just to make sure that she had our favorite treats around, including animal crackers, cookies, string cheese, and breakfast cereal. Sometimes, in the middle of the night, she would wake us up to sneak into the kitchen and eat cookies and milk, and in the mornings, she always let us drink coffee. And on extra special days, she would drive in to a parking lot, place us on her lap, and let us drive. Grandma had one huge king-sized bed, and the three of us would sleep on it, giving each other back rubs before bedtime every night. During the day we would spend hours playing dress up. We’d run into grandma’s closet and find our favorite hats and shoes and then model them for her. She had a special basket of our favorite toys that she kept for us in the closet.

But Grandma came to visit us too. She would drive down in her Honda Civic quite often actually, whether for our weekend soccer games or some special school performance, Grandma was always there. She never missed one Grandparent’s Day at school and she never missed a Christmas play or any other important event. She was always there. One day, Grandma showed up to our house with a very special gift: a cat! She loved telling us the story of picking him up in the pet store and bringing him to our house. 

On Easter we would go to Grandma’s apartment to spend the night. When Grandma hid the eggs, no one could find them, except for weeks later when they would start to rot. On Thanksgiving she would make the mashed potatoes, loaded with tons of butter and salt, always the best tasting. And on Christmas, Grandma would drive down to our house for Christmas Eve and spend the night. She’d sit on the couch watching us open gifts, leaning in for a kiss on the cheek as we thanked her for all her presents.

When I turned thirteen years old, my parents told me we were moving to California. I remember hating the idea and not wanting to go. I once looked back at an old journal entry where I wrote: The worst part about moving to California is leaving Grandma. Grandma was one of my best friends. Although I had to move away from her and couldn’t visit her every weekend anymore, Grandma never stopped showing she cared. She came to visit California and she wrote us letters and emails telling us how much she missed us. Not a day has gone by in my 23 years where I haven’t felt loved by my Grandma.

 My grandma has been a model for unconditional love in my life. She has loved me no matter what I do, where I go, or any other decisions I make. I couldn’t have asked for a better Grandma than her. And so I ask for your prayers as I leave tomorrow morning to go to Chicago and see her for the last time. I ask for your prayers that she can hold on for one more day so that I can see her before she passes on to be with the Lord.

 Part of this decision involves leaving before debrief begins. There are things I am going to miss out on, such as debrief meetings, one on ones, and the final banquet. For the past two days I have struggled over whether to stay here and finish the race or to go to Chicago and see my Grandma. And the bottom line is that I love my Grandma too much to not go and be with her. There has never been one time in my life that she wasn’t there for me, and I refuse to not be there for her.

Happy Seven:Eleven Day!
(July 11 = 7/11)

 I love my team. I loved spending the last eleven months with them. Of course it wasn’t always easy, but they are my brothers and sisters, my friends, and my teammates and I will miss them more than I could ever explain. Words can’t do justice what you guys mean to me—but I’m going to try anyways. I love you all SO much. Happy “us” day!

 

 

 
Sarah has grown tremendously over the past year. Whether with us on the race, or at home with her family, Sarah has shown me what it means to seek the Lord in all things. Her passion in life is to walk closely with the Lord, being obedient in all that he asks. She always sees the good in any given situation, and chooses to bless the Lord, always. Thank you Sarah for your constant joy in the Lord and for sharing that joy with us.  

 
When I think of Mark, I am always reminded of the many verses in the bible that refer to brotherly love. It has been a blessing to watch Mark this year, constantly pouring out his generosity and love. Mark isn’t a friend who stands on the sidelines and watches from a distance, but rather a brother who chooses to experience with you, sharing in your joy, pain, fear, or excitement. Thank you Mark for your heartfelt thoughtfulness and for always being there. 

It has been a blessing this year to watch Pam count it all joy. No matter where we are or what we are doing, Pam can always put the situation into perspective, knowing that her constant joy and hope is in the Lord. It has been an encouragement to me this year to watch Pam seek the Lord in every place we have been. Thank you Pam for illustrating a true seeker and follower of Christ. Thank you for your unwavering prayers for our team and your desire to see us all succeed.

Team Seven:Eleven… I love you!

And boy was I right! If there’s one thing that I’ve learned on the race it’s that things always change. The world is in constant motion, and so are we. People change, circumstances change, opinions change, etc. The last ten months have been one change after the other. Change in locations. Change in ministry contacts. Change in climate. Change in food. Change in living quarters, etc. We arrive in a given country, meet contacts, attempt to learn and adapt to the given culture, and just as we are beginning to settle in, it’s time to get up and go to the next place.

It’s rough. Everything around us is always changing. And we are changing too! We’re not the same World Racers that you all said goodbye to eleven months ago. God has worked this year. In big ways. He’s molding us progressively into the people that he has intended us to be ever since he created us. And although we aren’t there yet, we strive to reach that place. We desire to be used by God, desire to be more Christ-like, desire to be His hands and feet. And luckily for us, God can still use us where we are now. He did this year. In small ways, in big ways, in some ways that we may never know, God let us be a part of his Big Plan. And we are changed people because of it.  

And as our time remaining quickly fades away (16 days!), I can’t help but look to the future, and all that is in store. I am about to undergo the final change in this chapter of my life, and the first change of the next chapter in my life. I’m going back to America. Everything’s going to be different. I’m trading in the bus for my car, skype for my phone, and my tent for a house. I’m saying goodbye to cold showers, wood mattresses, and bug spray every night. It’s back to paved roads, air conditioning, my own room, and a closet full of clothes. I’ll replace my sleeping bag with sheets, my flashlight with electricity, and my hand sanitizer for soap. No more cows in the road, rats in the kitchen, or lizards on the wall. And maybe even one day, I will stop thinking in Spanish.    

…then we will after this!
(Quote of the Week by Pam Perry)

We’ve been in Puerto Cabezas now for about 5 days, and we are just beginning to get our feet wet (literally and metaphorically). Puerto Cabezas is a moderately sized town on the Eastern Coast of Nicaragua, often referred to as the forgotten coast and/or Mosquito Coast, both for good reasons. Although Puerto is a lot bigger than I thought it would be, if you go five minutes outside of town, it is absolutely desolate. The other day we traveled an hour and a half to a small town to do some construction, and there was absolutely no one between Puerto Cabezas and that town. Miles and miles of land with no inhabitants. The nickname Mosquito Coast has two rationales behind it; first, there is a local tribe and language called Miskito. And second, I’ve gotten more mosquito bites here than I have at any other location.

Our first couple of days, we focused mostly on getting things in order for our time here. We met with Pastor Earl and his right hand man Junior, and set up a schedule for the next two weeks that has us plugging into construction, hospital visits, hanging out with the kids from the orphanage, and helping out with the church. Our first weekend here we were also able to participate in some activities with the youth group, including a trip to the beach and a nighttime service.

Yesterday was our first day of construction. Our team and about seven men from the church hopped into the bed of a truck and traveled to Betania, a small town that was hit pretty badly from the hurricane last year. Most homes in the area were destroyed from the hurricane, and so Pastor Earl and his church have been working the past three months to rebuild as many homes as they can. So far they have built over 90 homes.

And today we started on our main project for the next week: building a home in Puerto Cabezas for a local woman named Mary Linda who lost her home in the hurricane. I’ve never been able to build a home from start to finish before, so I’m really excited about this project. Granted, this is a one story, 16x18ft home consisting solely of wood…but I’m still excited. The land that the home will be built on would best be described as a swampy landfill. While working, our feet are consistently submerged in mucky (and most likely parasitic) water that never really goes away because of the constant rain. Surrounding the marshlands is piles of trash that have accumulated over time. Basically, if we didn’t have worms (parasites) before, then we will after this!

Please continue praying for our time here in Puerto Cabezas. We have ten more days of ministry left on the race, then we will fly to Managua and meet up with our long lost teammate Mark, and then spend a week in Granada for debrief. Also, keep checking for video updates of our main construction project during our time here.